Getting a Date IRL (In Real Life)

Dating apps can usually get you a date easily and fast – but there’s still the romance and magic about meeting someone IRL – in real life, without looking through endless amounts of online profiles or wondering what to say in yours.

Finding a date in real life might mean you have to step out of your comfort zone and do things such as rev up your exercise regimen by signing up for a boxing class. You might also need to talk to new people you meet casually in social situations rather than chatting with friends.

Shake up your life in small ways by finding a new coffee shop to frequent or finding ways to chat with people you don’t know on buses or the subway. But don’t use the old pick-up lines. Be real, make eye contact and try genuine interest in another.

If you really feel intimidate and are afraid to lose your introverted nature, begin with small overtures. Strike up a conversation with people in line at the grocery or the barista in your favorite coffee shop.

You don’t have to be attracted to the other person. Practice your skills for when it counts by asking questions. You’ll be surprised at how most people will become open and very honest when you seem interested in their lives.

Expand those people in your social circle by attending lectures or other public (or private) things that interest you. Change your mindset to be open to meeting new people.

Even if the people you initiate conversation with are not interested in you, their extended networks may hold the exact partner you’re looking for. Once in awhile, try a new activity – either alone or enlist a friend to try it with you.

Travel to a nearby town nearby on a weekend and see what they have to offer that your town or the big city doesn’t. You’ll be surprised how a change of scenery can change your mindset to become more open to others.

Try meditation. That may seem incongruous to finding a date, but meditation can help you become more aware of how your thinking is keeping you from being stressed out about dating and finding someone to share your life with.

Turn off your phone when meditating. It can reduce anxiety and help you become more aware of your true feelings as you relate to others and your environment. Attempt to become highly aware of your surroundings and find things to be happy or laugh about.

As you’re meditating or simply attempting to get through this new dating style of finding dates IRL, think about your present life and try being happy for who you are. Rather than the desperate attitude of having to find someone to fulfill you, be confident in whom you are.

When you come across to others as desperate, others are put off. Confidence can make you seem sexy – desperation does just the opposite. Think carefully about how you speak and approach others. Confidence shines through and makes others want to get to know you.

Who are you currently socializing with? Assess the groups and people you hang out with and the possibility of meeting someone new and interesting. Spending all your time with those who are already in relationships can dash your dreams of finding a potential match.

Experiment in your dating life. When you swear away from the online dating apps, you can think more about what you really want in a partner rather than letting the profiles on dating apps distract you.

You’re actually collecting data about the qualities you’d like to pursue in others and can then zero in on what you want and don’t want. The data you collect can lead you closer to knowing which characteristics are going to make you happy and which you should avoid.

Approaching your dating journey IRL can also help clarify your dating beliefs. For example, your inner self may be telling you that a relationship will be the ultimate joy in your life when all you really need is to take joy in yourself and what makes you happy.

One way that IRL dating advocates achieve their dating goals and dreams is to follow the lifestyle of 50-30-20. That means you spend 50% of your time engaging in experiences you love and 30% exploring new options and adventures.

The remaining 20% should be spent focusing on singles events where meeting others you might be interested in is a near sure thing. Opening the door – and your mind – to all possibilities rather than narrow your options to a few can speed your dating IRL plan along.

You decide how much time you want to devote in terms of days and nights and check out a couple of venues that you might enjoy. Eventually, you’ll find some options that really appeal to you and bring enjoyment to your life.

Deleting all your dating apps and relying on dating IRL can open possibilities that you never imagined. Be real when interacting with others in real life and you’ll likely find someone who you can relate to and have fun with.

Changing your dating behavior patterns can be challenging, but rewarding and exciting. Some say that dating IRL can be the equivalent of swiping right every day to make the most of your dating life.