Dating Red Flags

Online dating basics include being aware of red flags that could alert you to potential future disasters. Some of these red flags might include catching a date in lies, extreme jealousy and disrespecting your boundaries.

It’s easy to ignore red flags when you’re caught in the throes of excitement and enthusiasm of a new relationship. But if you want a true relationship with the person you’re dating and not just a fling, it’s important that you recognize what’s really going on.

True relationships are based on trust, so catching them in one lie after another can be cause for concern about your future. Also, if your date turns into a person who only wants to keep you company late at night, it might be because s/he only wants sex.

Abruptly canceling dates at the last minute should also concern you. It’s a sign that they don’t respect your time and possible efforts. Don’t settle for someone who stands you up all the time and doesn’t seem to value your time.

When a person doesn’t respect your boundaries and consistently tries to make you do things you feel uneasy about, it’s time to take a serious look at the relationship. Showing up at your door unannounced or demanding sex at inopportune times isn’t respectful.

Another red flag is a situation where you’ve been dating for awhile, but s/he hasn’t introduced you to friends or family and keeps your relationship more of a secret than something s/he’s proud of.

That’s a sign that the person may not be ready to make a long-term commitment, but you haven’t received the message yet. And speaking of messages – if a person is constantly on his/her phone, it could be the sign of a serious phone addiction.

If they’re not addicted to their phone, they are disrespecting you by intentionally diverting their attention to something other than the date you’re on. If a person can’t give you the undivided attention needed to develop a relationship, they’re rude and not worth your time or effort.

Also, if the person takes a long time to call you back or text you, but are constantly on their phones when they’re with you, beware. That’s a big red flag. Jealousy can also be a thorn in the relationship.

Extreme jealousy is definitely a concern. You might be flattered at first and dream that s/he is trying to protect you, but in time the jealousy may become worse. You may get into arguments and disagreements more frequently and become unsure how or if to proceed.

Many people get a great deal of pleasure in smack-talking about their exes. It’s not fun to listen to – and can be a red flag that indicates a real problem with the person. While it’s normal to want to vent once in awhile, but constant bashing is unacceptable.

Have you ever been with someone who made you feel stupid or less-than. It’s a form of gaslighting that makes you doubt your sanity and even reality of a situation. S/he might make fun of your ideas or opinions and never value your viewpoint.

If you’re dating someone who makes you feel unappreciated or stupid, they’re not worth your time or effort. Why continue a relationship with someone who tears down your self-confidence and erodes your self-esteem?

Is your date being pushy about taking the relationship to the next level? That’s a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. If you’re not ready for sex or to introduce the person to your children and family, you shouldn’t be coaxed or brow-beaten to make it happen.

Those people who attempt to upset or drive a wedge between you and your friends or family shouldn’t be given a second thought when it comes to a long-term relationship. Run while you can before they destroy important relationships you built in the past.

Although it might not affect you directly, when a person doesn’t bother having a work ethic, it could be a red flag toward other parts of his or her personality. When a person isn’t working toward a goal(s) in life, they may have a permanent negative attitude.

Demanding to see your phone on a constant basis, going through your email and wanting your social media passwords mean they have no trust in you. Chances are, it’s a reflection on them rather than you.

Know that you are entitled to privacy and anonymity if you wish and that no one should interfere with that part of your life. Perhaps your date guilt trips you into revealing certain subjects or makes you feel responsible for the bad luck s/he may be experiencing.

That is also a reason for you to question whether or not this relationship has a chance to succeed. Having a personality that’s similar to Jekyll and Hyde is also a red flag about someone’s temperament.

Switching from anger to happiness in a flash is reason for concern. During fits of anger, they may call you names that aren’t acceptable to your sensibility. It can show a real tendency for disrespect.

What if your date cheated on their last relationship with you? Knowing your partner’s history of relationships can reveal a great deal about how they will be with you. It may only be a matter of time before they are unfaithful to you.

Emotional abuse is another element you should look for in a relationship. Emotional abuse is often subtle. You may be subject to physical bruises in the relationship, but your heart may be bruised from the mental and emotional abuse.

Cutting remarks about your body or how you could improve it or that you should or shouldn’t dress in a certain manner, get a better job or find a swankier place to live are all red flags that shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship.

You may think of other cautionary red flags that you should pay attention to as time goes on in the relationship. Keep your own health and happiness first in your life and decide on what are the real deal breakers in a relationship.