After The First Date

The follow-up after the first date is important to knowing if there’s a future with another person. There is such a thing as a post-date high, where you’re so enthralled with the person you just met that you might do crazy things.

The first date can be a lot like having a couple of drinks – releases your inhibitions, causes you to send frantic texts and say things you’ll wish later that you hadn’t. When to contact someone after the first date is often stressful.

You shouldn’t wait too long to make contact – especially if you were interested – but waiting until the other person has likely forgotten you or moved on isn’t the way to handle it either.

Other than that, there is no appropriate time when you should text after the first date. For once, use your gut feelings to act. If you really had a great time and are pretty sure the other person did too, text on your way home from the date.

If that’s not your style, text the next day. Keep it simple and light with a note about what a great time you had. Maybe mention a date you talked about for the future – something that interests you both.

Even though it may be tempting, don’t ask someone to text you when they are safely home. That’s too much mothering for the first date and might be a turn off to some. Don’t go on a texting binge after a first date, but allow a couple of days before asking for another date.

Never text anything with sexual overtones after the first date. Even if you let your inhibitions slide and went to bed with a person on the first date, sexting afterwards is not appropriate. Save it for the future – if there is one.

Approach the second date with a good heart and good feelings. If you’re doing the planning, choose a setting where the two of you can get to know each other in a casual setting – especially if you had a more formal first date.

Picnics, bike rides, the beach or a concert can all be more casual and better venues for a second date. Unlike the first date, the second will likely last longer and be less stressful.

Getting to know the other person more intimately should be fun and at the end, the future should look promising – or not. What may have been a bad first date could end up to be an incredible second or third date.

If you’re really interested in the other person and want the second (and third) date to get to know him/her better, don’t choose a noisy venue such as a loud bar or a movie or other place that could prevent you engaging in conversation.

Planning a date where you’re engaging with a bunch of friends isn’t a good idea either. If you click, there will be time for that later. Watching sports events or other shows on television isn’t a great way to get to know someone.

And don’t repeat the same dates over and over. It’s okay to plan a dinner before going to another event, but just going to dinner for every date is boring. Talking to and getting to know each other are the goals of second and third dates. Make it interesting.

While you may want to try something new on a second or third date, be sure it’s going to be interesting to the other party. If you’re accepting an invitation, it’s okay to try something new – like a sports event. You may end up enjoying yourself.

You may luck out on venturing to and enjoying an event or something else that you thought you wouldn’t like. But you don’t want to feign interest in something that will become tedious in the future.

Physical activities such as jogging or swimming can be great second and third dates for a budding relationship. Hiking through an area unfamiliar to you both is fun and good way to get to know each other.

Other outdoor activities you both might enjoy include boat rides, picking apples or berries or zoos. Museums, concerts, jazz and comedy clubs are good ways to socialize and share interests.

Parties are okay for future dates if at least one of you knows the people well and it won’t be awkward. You may also have a favorite place or quaint restaurant in mind that you want to share with the person.

Women shouldn’t be shy about making a suggestion about future dates. It’s no longer necessary for the man to make all of the decisions, but it is conventional for the man to pay for whatever the couple decides to do.

When you embark on the second or third date, be sure and say things about yourself that conveys to the other person how you see yourself. For example, you may see yourself as trustworthy or resourceful. Try to paint that picture without being idealistic.

Show interest in the other person on future dates without gushing and pushing yourself on them. Just let it be known that you have a special interest in the person and would like to explore a possible relationship.

After you’ve experienced the third or fourth date, you may want to bring friends into the mix. Meeting each other’s friends can be a good beginning in paving the way for the relationship to progress.