Don't Just Know Your Why - Fight for It!

Success can be yours. You can have success in your relationships, with your weight and health and in your career. But there’s a good reason that right now, at this moment, you don’t have success in some or any of those areas.

It’s because you want it and you hope for it, but you don’t fight for it. Quite frankly, if you’re not willing to fight for something, then you don’t deserve to have it. Because life isn’t full of fairy godmothers who hand out achievements, happiness or success. You’re on the hot seat. You have to get up and create your own success.

A Look at Some Reasons You Don’t Fight for Success

There’s a feel-good saying that people pass around like it’s the truth. It’s: “know your why,” which basically means you should know and understand the reason you’re doing whatever it is that you’re doing.

It’s the belief that if you know why you want something, it will make your pursuit of success easier. But that saying is only half right. The part about the importance of knowing your why is correct.

You should know your why. But the other part that’s missing is that you should be willing to fight for it. Lots of people know their why - and that’s great for motivation. As long as you do something about it - as long as you fight for it.

Without the fight to follow through, motivation is just a nice word that sounds like you’re gearing up to do something. It’s all hot air without a balloon to take off. Motivation without a fight will leave you disappointed.

It leaves you stuck. One of the reasons you don’t fight for success is because while you’ve identified your why, you’ve got a horde of doubters who tell you why it will never work.

They shake their heads, recommending you stay where you are, where it’s safe. They want you to stick with the career you hate. They don’t want you to take a chance on starting your own business or going back to college to learn new skills.

You know why they want you to do that? Because they gave up, too - and misery loves company. If you give up without a fight just because someone else made you doubt your goals, then your resolve was like a dandelion in a hurricane.

If you’re not able to stand up to the windbags, then you just don’t have a well deep enough to hold much fight. So stay put. A life of success is going to blow right by you. Another reason you don’t fight is because you know your why, but you have fears.

Lots of them. What if you get ignored when you try? Or what if you look stupid? What if people reject you or your ideas? What if you fail? Everyone has fears when it comes to wanting success, so you’re not alone there.

But if you run away from your fears, then you will always be chased by them. You only conquer your fears when you’re willing to fight for your why. Don’t run away. Stand up and fight.

A big reason why people don’t fight for success is they don’t want to face up to who owns the responsibility. Because that would mean a hard look in the mirror. It’s much nicer living in denial.

You know how it is in the neighborhood of denial. They’re not responsible for their inaction. Their spouse is. Or their mother, father, brother or sister. Or the neighbor. Or the neighbor’s cat that had half a dozen kittens and you’ve got to take care of them, so you missed your interview for a great job.

You can lay blame for not fighting at the feet of whoever or whatever, but laying blame doesn’t change the outcome - which is you still not having what you want. So take ownership for where you are in your life.

You don’t have what you want because you didn’t fight hard enough - or at all. And opportunities don’t like couch potatoes. They prefer warriors. Get focused and get in the fight.

Let’s Talk About Your Mindset

Your biggest fight is one that begins (and can end) in your mindset. Your mindset has the power to take you to your knees or the power to make success rain down on you nonstop.

Where does the power of that mindset come from? You hand it over. The keys to the kingdom. You allow your mindset to build you up or tear you down. You either cheer yourself on or tell yourself you’re never going to succeed.

Your mindset is your toughest challenger. It’s your meanest enemy or your best friend. When you have the wrong mindset, namely a negative one, you’re going to end up waving the white flag of surrender pretty quickly.

You’ll get bombarded with the kinds of thoughts that know exactly where your vulnerabilities are. And they will fire those cheap shot thoughts until you can’t take it anymore.

You’ll decide that you can’t do what it takes to be successful. You’ll decide that you need to stay right where you are, living your life out as is and that’s a crying shame because you really were meant for more.

But you’re going to let your negative mindset carry you years down the road. Someday, you’ll look back with regret and think, “I wish I would have made different choices.”

So how do you win?

How do you fight for success and create a winning mindset? It sounds hard, but it’s really not. You decide to. That’s it. You make the decision that you’ve got one life. You get one shot at getting it right, at living the way you want, at making your dreams come true.

With this one life that you’ve got, you have to decide that you’re going all in. That you’re in the fight to win and that defeat is not in your vocabulary. Of course, there is the flipside to that determination.

You can just as easily decide that mediocrity isn’t so bad. You realize the odds that your mediocre life is probably going to slide down into unhappiness - maybe even misery - but that’s okay.

It’s better than getting knocked down by life, you tell yourself. Well sure, if you don’t have the backbone to fight for what you want, then by all means, take a seat. Let the real winners have the floor.

That doesn’t sound very appealing, does it? If you’re not willing to tolerate a life that’s less than what’s best for you, then your only other option is to fight hard for what you want.

Fight for What You Want

Don’t pretend to fight for something or someone you don’t really want. When you fight for something, make sure the reasons you’re fighting - the why that you have - are authentic to you.

That you’re not fighting someone else’s fight. For example, this might be something like losing weight, but the why is because someone else wants you to. It’s not truly your fight because the why isn’t yours.

When you want to lose weight because you want to be healthier, then it’s your fight. Understand that fighting for what you want doesn’t mean that you have all the answers. It doesn’t mean you’re never going to make a mistake or that you won’t be afraid at times.

And it doesn’t mean that you have to put on a tough act to hide your vulnerability. In the fight, don’t lose sight of who you are and why you’re in it to begin with. To fight for what you want, you’re going to battle resistance and it’s going to come from within.

Especially if your life up until this point has been one of coasting along. To fight the internal resistance, you’re going to need to make sure that your reason is rock solid. If you don’t really know what you’re fighting for, you’ll quit.

You fight for what you want when you have a vision. Some people lump this in with knowing your why, but it’s two different things. A vision allows you to imagine the results of your why.

It strips the limitations around success and allows you to be more than you ever dreamed you could be. It allows you to do more, to push harder, to gain in whatever area you have a vision.

You might have a reason to lose weight, but a vision can make you a leader in the fitness niche. You might have a reason to overhaul your relationship, but a vision can turn you into a self-help guru, or can rekindle a fire between you and your partner.

You might have a reason to have a better career, but having a vision can turn a simple career into your dream. It can awaken your passion and pour success out in your life. But you have to remember that in order to become more, you must be more.

And that starts with a fight.

Fighting for what you want means you have to trust that you’re good enough. That you can do this. You have to believe that you have what it takes to achieve what you’re fighting for - even if you don’t see that.

Even if it takes weeks, months or years before you see the end results of your fight. Of course, in any fight, there’s going to be conflict. Your conflict is going to come to you like its tailor made.

It’ll carry your biggest weakness and look for the chance to knock you flat on your face. For example, if you’re fighting to lose weight, you can bet that someone is going to show up somehow with the biggest, diet busting meal or dessert that you can never say no to.

So now it’s crunch time. Do you devour that food like you haven’t eaten in months? Will you sit around after giving in and berate yourself for ruining your diet? Or will you put it into perspective, focus on the achievements you’ve made, shake off the food fail and move on?

Or if you’re working on bettering your relationship, you can guarantee that you’re going to end up in an argument with that person eventually. There’s nothing worse than wanting a healthy relationship with someone who knows just how to needle you.

You have to decide that you’re going to keep going if that relationship is the one you want. If it’s not, then you have no business fighting for it. You’re only fooling yourself and delaying the inevitable crash.

Some people stay in a relationship because they don’t want to be alone. But you can be alone - even in a relationship. Make sure it’s worth fighting for. If not, don’t waste another day of your life.

Maybe you’re fighting for your career and just when it seems you’ve made some excellent strides, you lose ground. You’re upset, you’re angry and it’s so unfair. But you’re not in kindergarten anymore.

You can’t just pack up your toys and go home. You have to show up and keep showing up until you get what you want. The biggest problem when people are wondering about their career - whether it’s staying with one they have or trying to find something better - is that they often settle for less when they could have more.

If only they would fight.

They go for a job interview and when they’re offered a salary, they don’t ask for more or for a sign on bonus. They accept what’s presented to them without a fight. In all areas of your life, when you’re in a fight, you can expect some blowback.

It’s just the nature of being alive. But the key to winning your fight is to take the hits. You might get knocked down and that’s okay. The key to winning your particular fight is to get back up again and again until you’re the champion you were always intended to be.

How Fighting for Your Why Can Improve Your Life

Fighting for what you want, for the success that you deserve, can improve your life. Once you have your why, it really can make you an undefeatable fighter. You might be someone who wants to lose weight.

Your why is because you want to be there for your children. Right now, your weight is interfering with how you’re able to raise them. When it’s time to go on vacation, you can’t fit in the seats at the amusement park rides.

Or when you’re at the playground, you can’t keep up with your child. You can’t ride a bike with your child because the weight hurts your knees and pedaling is misery. Because of your weight, your self-esteem is at an all-time low.

It’s made you shy, robbed you of opportunities because you prefer not to be center stage. If you fight for the weight loss, you’ll be able to be there for your children. Not just to go on rides, but to be with them during their growing up years.

You’ll change your health prognosis. Lower your risk of diabetes or get it under control if you have it just by losing weight. Your fight might be for your relationships. There’s so much anger, bitterness and many unresolved issues.

You avoid the other person. They avoid you. Family get togethers are something that you dread. If it’s a romantic partner, you feel the distance between you like a chasm stretching out as big as the Grand Canyon.

Fight for your relationship. Bring back the closeness. Fighting for your relationship can air the grievances, lay down the defensiveness and open the door to peace and love again.

You’ll find yourself wanting to spend time with that person. Looking forward to family get togethers. And if it’s a romantic partner, you’ll be reminded once again of why you fell in love with them in the first place.

Maybe your why is because you want your kid to be happy. Right now, you work so hard. It feels like work is all you ever do. You’re not happy with the hours, with the pay, or with the job.

It doesn’t even keep the wolf away from the door and it’s a struggle to put food on the table - to keep the lights on. You want a better life for your kids. That’s your why. Your fight is finding a way to be the parent who has the financial means to meet, not just their needs, but their wants as well.

You can be the parent who is happy with your life. The one who is no longer overworked and has time for your kids. All of that might sound like a dream, but it’s not just a dream. Success is something that millions of people live out every day. And it’s time that you were one of the success stories.